My friends, they love my intelligence
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
She's the barista slut.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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