Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
