Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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