Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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