Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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