is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
