Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
