You smell like stripper and shame
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Everclear isn't food dammit
Randomize
