he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
