I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
