I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
