He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Randomize
