I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
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