Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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