but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
