Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize