The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
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