it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize