one two three fourrrrnication!
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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