i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
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