peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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