I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
