Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
