i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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