Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
