hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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