Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
