..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize