I wish I could teleport
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
