And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Randomize
