so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
