I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
