Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
it was like eating out sand paper
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
