at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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