that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize
