K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize