That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
kristin has been a bad kristin
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
She's the barista slut.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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