Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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