Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
