just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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