there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
