everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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