nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
