is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
