she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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