Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
