Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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