He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
They are going to name an STD after you.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
