So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
My ass is underappreciated
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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