i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
