So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize