i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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