DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
