You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
then he tried to convert me to islam
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Randomize
