its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
