Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
