4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
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