My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
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