The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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