Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
