yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I just want to make out with him forever
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
