with your own penis?
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
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