I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
