i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
