I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize