the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Randomize
