He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
