Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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