I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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