she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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