i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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