champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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