He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize