So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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