This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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